Ghosts of Christmas Past

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When I was a kid, there was always an overwhelming sense of anticipation at this time of year. What was Santa going to surprise me with? Would I get everything (anything) on the list that I presented to Santa? Unlike today, the signs of Christmas didn’t appear until after Thanksgiving, for the most part. Yet, to a child, it seemed like there were months between Thanksgiving and Christmas, instead of just a few weeks. The waiting was excruciating.

But Christmas, the reality, seldom lived up to Christmas, the dream. Take the year I was in 5th grade. Mom had let it slip that Dad had decided to get bicycles for me and my sisters. As someone who had been riding and ancient girl’s three speed since first grade, I was beside myself with joy at the prospect of finally getting a real bicycle. All of my friends were riding Stringrays…you know, banana seat, high-rise handlebars, no fenders…and I had this image of a red one for me sitting under the tree on Christmas morning.

To say that I had trouble falling asleep on Christmas eve was an understatement. Come Christmas morning, I ran down the stairs, flew into the living room and feast my eyes on…a few wrapped gifts under the tree, but no bicycle. There was, however, the slot car racing set that was second on my list set up on the living room floor. So it wasn’t a total loss.

When Dad came down, he asked me to get the paper off the front porch for him. Thinking to myself that this was no time to be catching up on the news, I trudged toward the front door. I was a little confused that the paper was taking precedence over opening presents. I opened the door and was greeted by the sight of two girl’s bicycles sitting on the porch right outside the door. Yippee!!! And I quickly scanned around the porch, and there it was, my “new” bicycle…and my heart fell to my toes. Not only was it not a Stingray, it was obviously second-hand, with tires as thick as truck tires, a basket on the front that could hold a month’s worth of groceries, and a seat that looked like it belonged on a John Deere tractor. How would I ever face my friends riding this monstrosity?

Seeing the disappointment on my face when I went back into the house, my mother asked me to accompany her to the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, and I said something about the “stupid, used bike” that had been left for me. Now, I bet you’re thinking that this would be a good place for one of those “June Cleaver moments,” but that type of situation is outside of my life experience. Mom berated me for being an ungrateful little brat who should be happy that Santa showed up at all that year. She went on to talk about the poor kids in the world who didn’t even have enough food on their tables, let alone a great bike like the one on the front porch. After all, wouldn’t it be great to load up that basket with all the papers that I delivered each morning?

The modern portrayal of Santa Claus frequently...

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Luckily for me, it had snowed several inches overnight, so I had a reason for not focusing my attention on that gift. Instead, the slot car set became the new top present of all time…at least in my mind. That is until I wore out the contacts on both cars before bedtime that night. That was one of the flaws in the racing sets in those days. The cars wore out the contacts needed to make them run in no time. Christmas was a real joy that year!

Looking back over my life, most Christmas celebrations were rather anti-climactic until I discovered that the holiday is not really about what you get, but rather about what you are willing to give. Some of my best Christmas memories are of watching my own children discover what surprises Santa Claus had delivered for them. Their mom and I tried very hard to pay close attention to wish lists, and where reasonable make those wishes come true.

There are also the memories of sharing something that I created, or had a hand in creating that was shared with family and friends. The calendars created with snapshots of family and friends that included birthday and anniversary notations. The gift cards that I created for my grandchildren that had their pictures on them. Hearing genuine appreciation for the thought and consideration that went into those presents are the basis of my best Christmas memories.

These days, it’s hard for me to get too excited about Christmas. It might have something to do with the fact that it has become common for decorations and displays for Christmas to begin appearing before Halloween. Are you kidding me? When the obvious message being transmitted is “give us your money” for Christmas it’s hard to have a positive attitude about the holiday. So my intention is to try to focus on what the true Spirit of Christmas is. It’s not about what I get, but rather about what I’m willing to give. And to all of you, I give my love and appreciation in gratitude that each time you visit here and read my ramblings, you are a part of my life. And for that I am eternally grateful.