Absent Without Leave

First, thank you to everyone who has been checking up on me. I’m fine, and there is nothing really wrong with me. There has been some unpleasant stuff going on with family that I’ll get into in a bit. But I’m still employed, my health is good, and actually, I’ve had a pretty good summer.

I can’t remember if I’ve talked about it here, but my mother is in early stages Alzheimer’s, and her care has proven to be a pretty big challenge for my father. Me and my two sisters do not live in the same state with our parents, so we’ve tried to deal with things from a distance. Finally in July, I made a trip back to Illinois for the express purpose of lining up some services for them. That trip was successful, and I accomplished what I set out to do.

About a month after returning from that trip, my father had to take Mom to the emergency room because she had severe abdominal pains and couldn’t keep any food down. Upon taking a chest x-ray, the doctor discovered a 5cm mass on one of her lungs. An x-ray taken approximately four months earlier during a bout of pneumonia had been clear, so the mass developed very quickly. Mom had been diagnosed with colon cancer two and half years ago, had surgery to remove part of the colon and had been cancer free up until this newest discovery.

She and Dad made the decision that she would not have further testing or treatment and would opt for comfort care only. The doctor is confident that the colon cancer has spread and that it is an aggressive form, given the quick development of the mass on her lung. The bottom line is that all signs point to the fact that Mom is quickly approaching the end of her life.

Some recent incidents at home illustrated the fact that my father is not able to provide Mom with the care she needs, and last week it was decided that she would be better off in a nursing home. It was a difficult decision for Dad, but Mom seems to have adjusted quickly and seems content with being there.

I mentioned in a post a while back that I discovered my father was being victimized by sweepstakes scams. I had hoped that I had talked him into ignoring the calls and letters, but my sister found out during her recent trip to Illinois that it was still going on. That continues to be a concern, but I’ve accepted the fact that there’s not much I can do about it if he’s not willing to cooperate.

The Absent Without Leave Part

Although I’m dealing with all of this pretty well, it has left me feeling negative and critical of much of what I see going on in my life and the world around me. Looking back through my posts over the past few months, the only ones that were in any way positive were the photographs I put into the Sunday Scenery posts. And I decided that I was tired of posting only negative posts. So I just plain stopped writing. That was probably the wrong decision, because it left many of my online friends wondering what was going on. It also meant that I lost one avenue of venting my frustrations. But I also had to deal with the fact that I didn’t start this blog to spread darkness and pessimism throughout the blogosphere.

There are some other minor things going on with family that I’ve come to realize is just part of life. One thing that I’ve learned pretty clearly in my lifetime is that the only person whose life I have any control over is my own. I may not agree with choices others make, but I have to accept that the choices others make are their choices.

The Bottom Line

So, as of this moment, I’m back…at least I think I am. I know I’ve said that before, but the truth is, I’ve missed writing. I need that outlet, and I need the interaction with my blogging buddies. I also need to get busy with the camera again. Although I’ve been camping several times, I haven’t taken many pictures this summer. And I’ve discovered–or rediscovered–that I need to be creative to keep a positive outlook.

In a little over a week I’m going on a men’s retreat with several friends in the mountains of North Carolina. I’m really looking forward to that weekend. And since we’re going to be in the mountains, I’m definitely taking my camera. I’ll share thoughts and images of that weekend with my six regular readers when I get back.

Oh, and I almost forgot the other reason I haven’t been around much. I’ve been working with my wife and a friend of hers to develop a NASCAR-focused blog (I know, Queen Mimi, I know). We’ve got that up and running and it’s been fun to put together. In the process of moving that project forward, we were able to make a trip to Richmond to attend a race a couple of weeks ago, and we’ve made plans to attend another race in Martinsville, Virginia, in October. I know NASCAR is not everyone’s cup of tea, but if you’re interested, you can check out TrackSmack.net.

Until next time, know that I’ve not given up on blogging, and I’m doing fine. I’ll be in touch with Queen Mimi to find out how much time I have to spend in the dungeon and make the rounds of my other blogging buddies soon. All I ask is that if you are so inclined, keep my family in your thoughts and prayers.

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